My babies

So Matt and I worry from time to time that even though many of our friends have lovely babies, and cute babies and cuddly babies, that we simply don’t want one yet. And honestly, I only put that “yet” on the end of that sentence because I feel that I have to. Like it’s my duty or my calling in life to want a baby. And honestly, I don’t know if I really want to have one. I like the idea of having what Libby and Summer have – this beautiful child to fall in love with and to adore – and I think I would like to feel how they feel. Having a baby has turned both of them into poets – it’s wonderful. But I feel no yearning, no real desire, to literally have a child. I’ve always thought that probably no one feels this way. That a baby takes you by surprise and holds you ransom for the next 20 years of your life. Maybe everyone feels the way I feel (I know Summer did) and that by accident, they fell into the most wonderful thing in the world.

It’s funny because the other day, Matt and I talked about this very thing and he said, “I always think it’s odd when people say they are “trying” for a baby. I want to ask, “Oh? So you’ve done everything else in life that you wanted to do?” Ha. This of course, coming from someone who hasn’t experienced the “other side.” What’s the phrase….”from the outside looking in, you can’t understand it and from the inside looking out, you can’t explain it” Yeah, okay, I’ll buy that. And that really is the only thing that gives me comfort. That maybe the best things in life, you never plan for…instead, they plan on you.

I will end with a few pictures of my current babies. Babies that you can put in boarding when you go out of town. Sound appealing? It is! 🙂





Filed under General Hoo-Ha

5 responses to “My babies

  1. Hey Alisa! I like your new blog…I even added you as a link!

  2. Libby

    I have to admit that I definitely feel like we “fell” into something special. Before we had Grace, I had grand illusions of this child loving me and needing me, and now that she is here, while she does definitely love me and need me, she also cries and drools and will cost us SOOOOO much money and cries…however, on the flip side of that, she LOVES and NEEDS me…she smiles at me for no reason and I know that she will forever be a part of me until the day I die…I can understand the feeling of it being expected of you, and never fear that if you ever feel like you may be thinking thoughts of having one and aren’t sure, you can always borrow baby Grace:)

  3. Libby

    oh and thanks for the feet comment, I need to figure out how to make it smaller so it doesn’t take up half of the page:) Thank you to you, though, for the pic! love you:)

  4. Peggy Palmer

    Enjoy your life while you are young and newly married. I think alot of people rush in to having children just because they like the idea, but have no idea about the time, expense, and life style changes that will occur. It is a wonderful thing to be a parent and to have someone need and love you so much while they are growing up. I would not trade my children for the world. I may have waited alittle longer and enjoyed married life for a while first. I believe God will bless your life and those blessings may include a child. I believe it is all between you and Matt and God. Love You Both.

  5. Mom/Lora

    I think it’s important to ask yourself where the “expectation” of having a child is coming from. Is it from your parents or from your peers, or perhaps just from the subconscious heart of you that thinks having children is a given and there’s no other choice after you’ve been married awhile? If the pressure you feel is from family or peers, then the best thing to do is appreciate it as love and interest in your life. That way you don’t have to defend your feelings. Just say, “thanks for being concerned about me and when we decide to have a child you’ll be one of the special people we share that with.”

    Having children is a lifetime commitment, but you should not feel you will lose yourself. I think that as difficult as parenting is at times, I actually found myself there instead of losing myself. A child is a person you can share your insights, wisdom, talents and enthusiasm with in a special way that you cannot share those things with anyone else. They grow up and remember the times you were mean to them, or the times you cheered them on to some personal victory and they never realize that all of the things they don’t remember are there inside them anyway. All of the things you give them, the sacrifices you make, are part of who they become. That’s really wonderful when you think about it.

    You and Matt have wonderful gifts to give a child. Both of you are amazing, creative, intelligent, spiritual people. Those gifts will enable any child of yours to become an exceptional human being. When to give those gifts to a child is your decision and you’ll know when the time is right. The rest of us will be happy whatever you decide!

    The fact that you know I had great difficulty with pregnancy is probably making you fearful. Remember that every woman is unique and we usually don’t have the same experiences as our mothers. So, don’t let fear be your determining factor. Other emotions are so much more valuable!

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