Monthly Archives: November 2012

My iPhone is Ruining My Life

This morning at 4:48, I woke up feeling restless.  I was a bit hot, hearing “lovely Rita, meter-maid” over and over (beginning to hate that song) and my brain just wouldn’t calm down.  I tried singing some lines from a very soothing song; “you can fall asleep by being very still.  You can close your eyes and slow yourself and when you think your thoughts, be sure that they are sweet ones…” but I couldn’t think sweet thoughts.  I got up, went to the bathroom and there I found myself googling on my iPhone, “My iPhone is Ruining My Life”  I did. I googled that exact phrase.  I’m not one to pass the blame on to something or someone for whatever troubles I might be facing.  I’ll be the first to take the blame for most of what goes wrong in my life.  I have a full sense of awareness of my bad decisions and how they tend to affect myself and others.  So I will admit that it’s not the iPhone per se, but my addiction to it, that has left me feeling lonely, bored, and not creative anymore.  Oh, and sucking socially.

I think the iPhone is a wonderful device, and thank goodness it was around to help me level a picture I hung the other day, and yes, it takes great insta-photos of my daughter and my sandwiches and the cat sitting in a cardboard box.  But I think my feelings on its merits are best summed up in a great chart I found while googling the iPhone’s destruction of my life this morning.

 

I stared at that purple section of the pie.  What could I be doing with that purple chunk of valuable time instead of playing word games, checking Facebook 500 times an hour, my email 200 times an hour, Instagram 100 times an hour, etc?  I am not going to lie to myself and pretend that I used to be a fabulous writer.  I was never one to keep a regular journal, even before the invention of The Seemingly Necessary Time Waster, but I DID do probably a half dozen fun, creative things a week and I wrote at least once a week.  That’s better than once in 6 months.  I sent care packages to my friends, I had UNINTERRUPTED conversation with those friends.  I feel proud that for the most part, my coffee dates with friends are still phone-free.  But what about my dinners with my family?  iPhone is there.  Sometimes it’s a reference tool, and great – I am glad that I can look up what ridiculous thing someone said on Facebook so that I can gossip about it with Matt.  But what about Olive?  What are her little eyes already getting used to seeing?  Mom’s face, illuminated by a tiny screen and looking slack-jawed and spaced out while checking in to see what someone less important is doing with their time.

I want my life back.  My old life.  I want to have the opportunity to follow through on my creative impulses, again.  I can’t count how many times I think of something fun to do and then find that I’ve wasted 30 minutes to an hour staring at my phone, and then my opportunity is lost. How many times have I started reading a book, only to have the irresistible urge to check my phone and end up foregoing my book to see what crafts or recipes someone else ISN’T doing on Pinterest?

I’m not going to say “I’m finished” and chunk that valuable piece of metal and plastic out the door.  But I will say that games I’m playing will be dramatically decreased.  So if I don’t play with you, guess what?  I still really like you.  I’d just rather spend those 5 minutes not staring at my phone.  Where I can cut back, I’m going to.  How to cut the addiction of Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest, though?  Other than Instagram, those things are on the “regular computer” as I’ve gotten in the stupid habit of saying.  I’m going to make a cyber-space vow that my phone will be on the charger during meal times/coffee dates/walks around the block, far away from the impulse to grab, swipe, check and then fade away from reality.  I want to participate more in my own life.  I want to breathe in the air and feel a pen and paper in my hand again, and more than anything, I just want to not be addicted anymore.  And I want for Olive to see my face illuminated  by the sun,  her sweet smile, or by something snarky her dad just said. It might be a little lonely as every other person in the world has the same addiction.  But I can at least be the change I want to see, right?  Right.

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Eight Months is a dream

I have been a stupendously bad blogger.  I have wanted to write out my feelings about Olive every day, but instead, I find myself taking more pictures, but I think for me, that is the way I’ll tell my stories when I’m older.  If I see a picture, I can remember most of the details.  

That said, I wanted to write about how completely charming Olive is right now.  Eight months old on the 6th of November, and she couldn’t be more fun.  I find myself thinking nearly every day,”This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life”  That should tell you something – an eight month old baby is so dreamy!  She’s sleeping from about 9:30 to 8 in the morning and other than a few set backs from teething, she sticks to that schedule.  She still fights naps tooth and nail, but she will take a couple a day – sometimes three if we’re lucky.  She’s just so ON, she hates settling down for a nap.  

She is mobile and loves crawling.  Except she doesn’t crawl perfectly – she sticks her right leg out in front of her while keeping her left knee on the ground and does this little crab walk as fast as she can.  Consequently, there is always a permanent rug burn on her left knee/shin 🙂  She figured out how to go very slowly down the tiny step into our living room.  We were so proud and clapped and clapped for her, and instead of being satisfied, she immediately turned around and went back up the step, and then back down about 3 more times.  She shrieks with this crazy laugh when I’m behind her as she’s crawling and she will crawl faster to get away from me.  She is ticklish under her chin and loves to laugh.  Well, it’s a fake laugh, but it cracks us up and she loves to do it.  

She will also “sing” along whenever I sing, or whenever we’re at church.  It’s a high pitched squeal, but she only does it when there’s singing or music.  

She’s begun to flirt.  If Matt’s holding her, and she sees me, she’ll smile and then quickly turn away and bury her face in his shoulder.  So I’ll go around behind him to look at her again and she’ll shriek and turn around the other way, laughing the whole time.  When she wakes up from her naps, she’s typically not happy, but when she is, I will find her sitting up in her crib and when I come in the room, she will immediately go into crawling mode to get away from me while laughing.  

I’m telling you, living with her is the most fun I’ve ever had.

She loves to eat.  She has begun to show her appreciation by very loud cow-like “Mmmmmm’s” and will beat her hands on the tray.  Yeah, we’re trying baby sign language, but we’re not diligent with it, so she hasn’t picked up the sign for “more” yet, and honestly, it’s pretty low on my priority list to get her to do it.  I’m cooking for her and just pick up a little extra of whatever fruits or vegetables are on sale (means they’re in season, too – bonus!) and we roast the vegetables and then puree them up, and I usually combine two or three fruits into a chunky puree, and other than apples, I leave the fruits raw.  We’ve not gone by the books, food-wise.  We’ve had Thai coconut beef soup with crispy shallots – it got blended into baby food.  Chicken fricassee, beef ragu, osso bucco and mushroom risotto, pumpkin ravioli – those have been our weekend fun meals and we just blend them up and she’s loved every one.  I think the only time she isn’t a fan of food is when she’s tired.  So we’ve learned to feed her when she’s happy!

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We love you, baby girl, and we can’t wait for another month to hang out with you.  You make every minute better.  

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