Waiting

I wish things happened in an instant. That when we knew we had to do something important or scary, we would simply go do it that instant. The waiting is what makes new things in life so hard. I become nervous thinking about things in the future that otherwise, if you were to simply tell me to go do them in 4 minutes, I would have no problem doing. But because I have weeks to think about the task, I think of a hundred ways to feel apprehension. Matt asked, “so, if I were to say, hey we have to go shoot a wedding in 30 minutes–you’d be okay with that?”

Yeah, I would. I know how to do the things I find uncomfortable. I know how to shoot a wedding and I know how to teach a photo class. I know how to talk to people and I know how to meet new ones. But my brain, when given more than a day to ponder, becomes almost immobile. It wants to crawl under the covers and sleep and sleep to make the days pass between now and when I have to do _____(fill in the blank).

Does anyone else feel this way? What do you all do to get from where you are, to finishing the task that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is the goal to create for yourself a life where you don’t run into these uncomfortable situations? What is the answer?

Good Smell Day; May 24th

This week Matt made a honey-wheat sourdough with the sourdough starter that he grew himself. The loaves rose pretty well and the folks at his office said that the bread tasted just like the bread at Harrigan’s. I suppose for those of you who have been there will know what I’m talking about. This bread is served best with a big ol’ slab of cold REAL butter. 🙂

And then also, Rosemary bread bowls (that we will have with white chicken chili this weekend)

Thursday = Good Smell Day

Every Thursday, Matt makes bread to take to work the next day.  He tries something new every week and the results are generally amazing.  He is getting really skilled at it and I’ve been documenting most of his endeavors on our Picasa album: http://picasaweb.google.com/alisapalmer/WonderBreads

Check on it from time to time.  Today he made Sicilian bread.  Pretty S-shaped loaves with toasted sesame seeds.  It has a slightly nutty flavor, a chewy crust and an airy crumb(the inside of the loaf).  I give it two thumbs up.

 

 

For Libby. A Little Turtle.

Four years ago Lib and I worked at a daycare and had one of the cutest little girls in our class. The best speech impediment a kid could ever have. Just thought you’d like this little blast from the past, Lib! Enjoy!

 

 

My babies

So Matt and I worry from time to time that even though many of our friends have lovely babies, and cute babies and cuddly babies, that we simply don’t want one yet. And honestly, I only put that “yet” on the end of that sentence because I feel that I have to. Like it’s my duty or my calling in life to want a baby. And honestly, I don’t know if I really want to have one. I like the idea of having what Libby and Summer have – this beautiful child to fall in love with and to adore – and I think I would like to feel how they feel. Having a baby has turned both of them into poets – it’s wonderful. But I feel no yearning, no real desire, to literally have a child. I’ve always thought that probably no one feels this way. That a baby takes you by surprise and holds you ransom for the next 20 years of your life. Maybe everyone feels the way I feel (I know Summer did) and that by accident, they fell into the most wonderful thing in the world.

It’s funny because the other day, Matt and I talked about this very thing and he said, “I always think it’s odd when people say they are “trying” for a baby. I want to ask, “Oh? So you’ve done everything else in life that you wanted to do?” Ha. This of course, coming from someone who hasn’t experienced the “other side.” What’s the phrase….”from the outside looking in, you can’t understand it and from the inside looking out, you can’t explain it” Yeah, okay, I’ll buy that. And that really is the only thing that gives me comfort. That maybe the best things in life, you never plan for…instead, they plan on you.

I will end with a few pictures of my current babies. Babies that you can put in boarding when you go out of town. Sound appealing? It is! 🙂